Buyers, here's a question I get asked in almost a whisper, like it's something to be embarrassed about: "Is it okay if I ask the seller to help with my closing costs?"

Yes. It's not just okay, it's common. According to Zillow, 67% of sellers are already covering some or all of a buyer's closing costs in today's market. You are not asking for a favor. You are asking for something most sellers expect.

Here's the myth on the seller side. "If I agree to cover closing costs, I'm losing money on the deal." Not exactly. A closing cost credit is often a smaller net hit than a straight price cut, and it can be the difference between a buyer who can close and a buyer who walks away because they're short on cash at the table. Sellers who understand this close more deals, faster, and often net closer to their asking price than sellers who refuse to negotiate at all.

Here's how the math usually works. Buyer closing costs typically run 2-5% of the purchase price. On a $400,000 home, that's $8,000 to $20,000. Loan type sets the ceiling on what a seller can contribute: conventional loans allow up to 3-9% depending on down payment, FHA allows up to 6%, and VA loans allow closing costs plus 4%. There is real room to negotiate here, and most buyers don't know it.

If you're a buyer, don't be afraid to ask. Bring your lender's closing cost estimate to the table and build the exact number into your offer. The right time to ask is at the initial offer, after inspection, or during appraisal negotiations, not as an afterthought.

If you're a seller, don't treat every concession request as a loss. Ask yourself what the deal nets out to after concessions, repairs, and time on market, not just the headline price. Sometimes covering $8,000 in closing costs is the smarter move if it keeps a qualified buyer at the table instead of losing them to a smaller offer down the street.

The takeaway: Closing costs are negotiable on both sides of the table. Buyers, don't assume asking makes you look weak. Sellers, don't assume offering means you lost. It usually means the deal got done.